Is this a good Manga Plot?

Eamonn

2013-07-24 22:29:29 UTC

'The Faceless"
- One shot
- SciFi
- Adult
- Psychological
- Horror (gorey)
- In an unknown city, a new breed of criminal is on the rise. Using booths called "Flash Boxes", one is able to simulate 11 days (264 hours) without sleep, forcing the adrenal glands into a lethally hyperactive state. The effects of a Flash Box last 11 days followed by fatal cardiac arrest, but during that time the user's senses and nervous system exceed superhuman levels.
These criminals call themselves "The Faceless" wearing blood-stained porcelain masks to hide their faces, deformed by sleep deprivation. Whether its for vengeance or ideology, the physically unstoppable "Faceless" vow to destroy as many people as humanly possible within their final hours, so that they may enter the afterlife with peace of mind.

PLOT: 19 year old Hikari is framed by her three stepbrothers for the murder of her own parents, and given the death sentence. On the day of her execution, a man wearing a porcelain mask saves her, killing everyone in the room in the process. He tells her she can bring justice to her situation by using a Flash Box, etc etc

(Thats about as far as I got... She uses it, becomes a faceless and kills her brothers thinking she avenged her parents, only to find out that it wasn't them who were at fault, it was actually another faceless who killed them, and spared her brothers' lives if they agreed to create and sell more flash boxes to different districts of the city. They supposedly got filthy rich from doing it, and wanted to keep her out of the loop by sending her to prison. Money is yet again the antagonist. A lot of other stuff happens, she falls in love with the guy who saved her, but they both only have about a few hours left before they die, so he builds a new type of flash box that can transfer adrenal hormones, and thus extend time limits. He dies while using it, but manages to give her his time.
The final climax is that she has to use her last hours to defeat the faceless that killed her parents, and he ends up being the very first faceless, surviving for almost a year by killing other faceless and stealing their adrenaline with a similar machine to the one her lover created.)