What do you think of my story idea?

Question

I have a story idea it is just for fun it is a comic like of anime kind of superhero i have some concept art but nothing really in stone so anyways it is inspired by my love and interest in Japanese and Chinese mythology,culture,warriors and martial arts and a little bit from avatar so the story is about two soldiers in the spartan army Alexios and Nikon they fled from the war because they were just hurting innocent people and not soldiers so they fled to Athens but on the way there they fell in to a hole Nikon broke his leg and they saw a light in the distance in desperation they walked to it and they just saw writing and pictures that told of 9 warriors controlling the elements battling a monster after the sun and as they looked around Alexios tripped and knocked over a mirror that released Daos a great evil who shot out of the mirror and out of the hole and so did 9 beams or light which were the elemental orbs and over centuries people learned of the orbs powers and that 9 would be chosen
the 9 warriors their weapons and martial arts

Fire-Cheng Zhou fire warrior he uses two dao's(sabre's) and twin hooks his martial art is leopard style kung fu and wushu
Water-Jian Wong water warrior he uses the jian(straight sword) and whip chain his martial art is snake style kung fu and wushu
Air-Tai Tzu air warrior he uses the qiang(spear) and fighting fans his martial art is crane style kung fu and wushu
Earth-Wang Wei earth warrior he uses the gun(staff) and tonfas his martial art is tiger style kung fu and wushu
Thunder-Izumi Okamoto thunder warrior she uses the naginata and kanabo martial art is jujitsu,naginatajutsu and kanabo-jutsu
Lightning-Akio Okamoto lightning warrior he uses the katana and yumi martial art is jujitsu,iadio,iaijistu and kyudo
Light-Naburu Tanaka was the light warrior he used the katana and yari but was killed and his orb and katana was passed on
Dark-Takero Tanaka dark and light warrior he uses the katana,wakizashi and yari martial art is jujitsu,iadio,iaijutsu and sojutsu and also uses daisho
Metal-Hiraku Ito metal warrior he uses the ninjato and kusarigama martial art is ninjitsu,iaijutsu and kusarigamajutsu

other characters

Sagi-Shi-a genderless shape shifting badger that killed Naburu with his nodachi sword

Daos-evil warrior after the sun orb which will allow him to use the power of the sun


elemental samurai-using all there orbs they can create the elemental samurai by merging together and using the full potential of there powers but the downside is they could all die

Answer 1

ok a lot of things!!! (btw i am a comic reader, american comic books so not everything may be directed to a good manga book lol idk)

shut up with the names, make a simpler way to remember all these weird 9 people

also you have a darkness and a light dude in the 9 peeps! i thought there was like 9 light dudes and the one shadow thing was for darkness!

also idk what the orbs are all about, do they have the souls or something? they have "knowlegde" or whatever, i dont take that crap

this is a pile of cliche doo doo, 9 warriors fighting a beast and 9 more must be summoned! like i havent heard that freakin thing over and over and over and over again



EDITS I WOULD MAKE:

have some uniqueness! i would make like the 9 orbs not just release information or w/e, do like the theives, killing innocents, their no heros!!!! so they steal them or break them or something, and then what? i mean it has no story from there, and what does "knowlegde" look like? does it just go to someone? what happens then? theres 9 dudes, they fight a monster, the end, the reader has read allll tttthhhhisssss crrrraaaappppp beeefffooorrreeee!

so spice up the plot!



also, theres just a freaking hole in the ground? who set it up, who made the paintings? theres a huge field, what if like the two dudes did something to it and ruined the destiny? like did the nine fellas make it? plus "elemental warriors?" don't give me all that crap. ive heard it, avatar did it already. its used up! this is a time for a new idea! the uses are up, you gotta like do some other type of warrior, like do something new!



ok and one more little thing, this is a personal preference, but i would make "daos" be like the beast, not a sun warrior that like had a beast "after the sun" its just not logical.



whew, that was long.

Answer 2

You need to come up with something unique and original - not just mash together a bunch of your favourite animes. I'm not a huge fan of anime, but even I can recognise three or four other animes in there.



Aside from that, Spartan Warriors would rather die than desert their army, plus they wouldn't be killing innocents in the first place. You also have a huge plot hole - why are there paintings of these Japanese elemental warriors in an underground cave in GREECE?! It's just not plausible... you should scrub the whole Spartan thing and set it solely in Japan. I mean, even if this Daos dude travelled to Greece for some bizarre reason, surely the Greek gods would have easily taken care of him?!

Answer 3

Hmm, to me its not original enough though im more one for cyber punk stories so i will be a hard critic XD I personally wouldn't read it but im sure a lot of people would!