anonymous
2010-10-02 00:53:41 UTC
Okay, okay... I know it's crazy. But I'm in love with him. He's been gone sooo long!! And I want him to come back!! To Konoha! PLEASE don't say I'm crazy. It hurts my feelings, really... I hate when people call me crazy... I can't help I'm in love with him! I feel so lost that he's turned evil and I need help... give me advice??
I sincerely apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complaining, and I'm debating on leaving this world tonight. Even my friends can see I'm grieving. I try and hide it but I can't. Why do I act like I'm all high and mighty when inside I'm really dying?? I am finally realizing I need help...I really cant do this myself... im too weak... I cant let go of him.
2 weeks I've been having ups and downs, with the idea of ending my life. I've gained weight sense I'm not going out... thinking about HIM. I'm hating my reflection. I walk around the house trying to avoid the mirrors. I can't stand what I look like... I look fat! I lock myself in the bedroom, or my bathroom, sometimes often falling asleep or popping pills becaue I feel so depressed... I watch old episodes of Naruto when he was actually sane and it hurts. But dwelling on it only makes the night even more horrible. Then I begin popping Vic's, perks and Methadone pills. I tell people I need help... BUT THEY NEVER LISTEN!!! THEY DON'T BELEIVE I POP PILLS... But he's my best friend... and I need him. The pills help me feel better. My friends can't understand me... they dont beleive me when I say Im in love with Sasuke and i pop pills...
I sit alone in my living, watching the same damned DVD of the first season of Naruto, when he was still alive and it HURTS so I fast forward, and take sleeping pills - they make me feel alright... and if I'm still awake in the middle of the night, I just take a couple more... like always.
Soo... its embarassing to talk about... please take me seriously! I am willing to do anything!
thanks for any help...